Showing posts with label Spotlight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spotlight. Show all posts

Monday, December 12, 2022

Spotlight Giveaway - - A Sweet Lowcountry Proposal

A Sweet Lowcountry Proposal
by Preslaysa Williams
Publisher: Avon
Release Date: November 8, 2022


It was supposed to be the happiest day of Jaslene Simmons’ life, the day she’d say “I do” to Marcus Clark. But when her sister dies in a tragic accident everything changes—including her once rosy future with Marcus. Jaslene instead pours all of her energy into caring for her now-motherless niece and running the wedding planning company she and her sister had built, wanting to honor her sister’s dream even if she has to sacrifice her own.

As an archivist at Charleston’s Black history museum, Marcus shines a light on the stories of forgotten people. Researching history is better than dealing with his own heartache—and the guilt he has over the role he may have inadvertently played in the death of Jaslene’s sister.

Jaslene never thought she’d cross paths with Marcus again, but her need for an affordable office space brings her to the museum which is faced with the threat of closure. As they work together to save it, their buried feelings slowly reignite. They soon realize there is still room in their hearts for love...if only they can overcome their past. 

PJ Says:

In this follow up to her heart-tugging debut, A Lowcountry Bride (read my review here), Williams brings readers a slow-burn, second-chance romance about healing and moving forward in the wake of grief. Once again set against the lush and historic backdrop of Charleston, South Carolina, the book not only shines a light on the lead couple but also on the Black history and culture of the Lowcountry as well as the author's own Afro-Filipina heritage.

I'm looking forward to reading A Sweet Lowcountry Proposal

Have you read Preslaysa Williams yet?

Do you enjoy reading stories that focus on diverse cultures?

Have you ever visited Charleston?

One person who posts a comment before 11:00 PM (EST), December 12 will receive a print copy of A Sweet Lowcountry Proposal

*U.S. only
*Must be 18
*Void where prohibited





Saturday, September 17, 2022

Spotlight on Quarter to Midnight

Quarter to Midnight
by Karen Rose
Publisher: Berkley
Release Date: August 2, 2022
Read by Nancy

 


Good cops. Bad cops. Only one will win.
 
After completing her tours with the Marines in Iraq, Molly Sutton knew she could take down any bad guy she met. But when a family tragedy exposes the dark side of her local police, she joined up with her former CO Burke Broussard, who left New Orleans PD to set up a private investigative service for people who couldn’t find justice elsewhere.
 
Gabe Hebert saw the toll that working for the NOPD took on his dad and decided instead to make a name for himself as one of the best young chefs in the French Quarter. But when his father’s death is ruled a suicide after a deliberately botched investigation by his former captain, Gabe knows his dad stumbled onto a truth that someone wants silenced.
 
Gabe goes to his father’s best friend, Burke, for help. Burke assigns the toughest member of his team, Molly, to the case. Molly can’t believe she’s being asked to work with the smoking hot chef whose chocolate cake is not the only thing that makes her mouth water. Sparks fly as they follow the leads Gabe’s dad left them, unraveling a web of crimes, corruption, and murder that runs all the way to the top.

 

PJ and I had originally planned that I would review this book for The Romance Dish. When I finished the book and turned to the acknowledgements, however, I saw my name there. I provided a small bit of help to Karen Rose as she worked on this book, and she generously acknowledged that in print. In the circumstances, an actual review didn’t seem appropriate, so we decided I would do a writeup of the book instead of a formal review. 

With Quarter to Midnight, Karen Rose launches a new series in a new city, New Orleans. The story opens with a retired police officer, Rocky Hebert, pursuing a cold case, a murder that occurred during Hurricane Katrina more than fifteen years earlier. He has an appointment with a doctor who has information for him. But he doesn’t realize those who covered up the murder are snipping loose ends and are on his heels. Rocky doesn’t survive the night. 

Rocky’s death is ruled a suicide, but his son, Gabe, the head chef of a hot new restaurant, doesn’t accept that. He secretly arranges for forensic examinations of his father’s body and brings the results to his dad’s former partner, Burke Broussard. Now a private investigator, Burke runs an agency in New Orleans, Broussard’s Private Investigations, LLC. He assigns former Marine Molly Sutton to the case. Gabe insists on investigating with her, and the two begin retracing his father’s steps. 

Meanwhile, those tying up loose ends are hunting the witness to that old murder. Xavier Morrow was five years old during Katrina. Pushed onto the roof of his home by his mother moments before the flood waters took her, he was huddled there when he saw someone kill one of his neighbors. Rocky Hebert was among the group who rescued Xavier and others in his neighborhood. Xavier told Rocky about the murder, but when Rocky went back for the body, it was gone. Xavier was evacuated to Houston, as so many New Orleans residents were. A family there adopted him. But he never forgot the murder and Rocky kept looking for the killer. 

Although more than fifteen years have passed, the killer had a distinctive feature that would provide convincing proof of identification. The killer knows it and is taking steps, including leaving a trail of bodies, to see that it doesn’t become a problem. 

The sprawling, lethal catastrophe of Hurricane Katrina changed the face of New Orleans, wiping away entire neighborhoods, as it did the one where Xavier lived. It killed many of her residents and forced others to leave forever. The use of this situation as the springboard for a cold case story made perfect sense. The killer knows there was a witness, but the evacuation and adoption make finding the child difficult. It also complicates the search for other witnesses in the story’s present day. 

Without going back and counting heads in Rose’s other books, I can’t definitely state that Quarter to Midnight has a bigger cast of characters than most, but it feels as though it does. They’re handled deftly, with distinct personalities and story threads, so the reader doesn’t become confused. The story initially cuts back and forth between the murder mystery in New Orleans and Xavier’s jeopardy in Houston. As it does, each group of characters steps to the fore and gives us reasons to care about them. 

We know early who the main villain in Quarter to Midnight is and what drives him. But we don’t know who’s helping him. Rose keeps their identities secret without going through plot contortions to do so. The uncertainty as to who might be deadly keeps the tension in the story high. 

There’s also tension between Molly and Gabe, who were already attracted to each other though their only interactions had occurred when she visited his restaurant. The tension and the attraction grow, and the developing relationship makes a logical vehicle for the two to share their backstories and their feelings about what’s happening. 

The large cast provides plenty of potential lead characters for future books. There are the members of the Broussard agency, Gabe’s cousin Patty, who’s also his partner in the restaurant, Molly’s sister and her daughter, and a few trustworthy members of the New Orleans Police Department. Then there’s the Houston group, Xavier, his friend Carlos, Carlos’s brother, Manny, Xavier’s mom, Cicely, and Cicely’s friend Willa Mae. Cicely is a nurse, Willa Mae is a lawyer, and neither one of them stands for any nonsense. They were two of my favorite characters in the book. 

Rose’s family groups generally include at least one strong, middle-aged, often maternal woman, but these two struck me as being a notch higher on the taking charge scale. This may be because of the way they handle their adventure on the way to New Orleans and the events when they arrive there. 

I also enjoyed the Broussard agency’s office manager, Joy Thomas, a former police detective, now a CPA, who runs the office from her wheelchair. She also doesn’t tolerate any nonsense. As a longtime fan of the DC Comics character Oracle, I have a soft spot for smart, no-nonsense women using wheelchairs. 

One of the things that makes this story engaging is the web of emotional ties that bind the different characters to each other. Gabe and Xavier both have loved and were loved by Rocky but in different ways. Molly and her sister and niece have family ties as well as bonds formed by shared trauma. The Broussard Investigations members are found family, affectionate and loyal to each other, and Molly and Burke share the additional tie of having served as Marines together. 

At the heart of the emotional web, of course, is the developing relationship between Molly and Gabe. They make the transition from mutual but unacknowledged attraction to something else I don’t want to spoil, and it’s handled smoothly in a believable way. 

The story twists and turns with the characters shifting from hunters to hunted and back as the plot builds. The conclusion, an explosive confrontation that begins at a banquet and moves to the tourist-filled streets of New Orleans, provides a satisfying payoff. 

As you can probably tell, I really loved this book. But that’s the most I’m going to say because this is not technically a review.

 

~Nancy


Monday, June 6, 2022

Spotlight & Giveaway - - Sunflower Season

UPDATE #2: 
YAY! A new Amazon link has been activated. If you pre-ordered from Amazon, unfortunately that order was cancelled. Please order a new copy to download from one of these links:

Universal link:
Here's the most recent letter from the authors of the Sunflower Season anthology:

Dear Lovely Readers,
We have to apologize to you for the delay in the Amazon release of Sunflower Season. Unfortunately, our preorders at the vender were canceled. The fabulous news is that we have a new Amazon and universal link to share with you!
As authors, we are committed to raising as much money as possible for this charity. If you purchased your copy through Amazon, you were not charged for that canceled pre-order, and so we humbly ask if you would consider ordering the book again.
We’re so sorry to create additional work for you, but we want to make sure we do our part for the people suffering in Ukraine. Thank you so much for your understanding and your efforts. Being part of this reader/writer community is such a gift. For those of you who ordered from other vendors, your copy should be available now. Thank you again for your continued support.
All the best,
Writers of Sunflower Season

UPDATE: If you pre-ordered Sunflower Season from Amazon, you have probably noticed it has not downloaded to your Kindle. That's because Amazon made an error and cancelled the pre-orders. Thousands of them. More than $20,000 that would have gone to humanitarian relief in Ukraine. As of today (6/7/22), there is no link on Amazon to order this book (though it is available at other online retailers). The authors who spent six months working on this collection are heartbroken over the lost money for Ukraine and hopeful that readers who lost their Amazon pre-orders will buy the book again once it becomes available. I'll let you know as soon as I hear about a new link. 


Sunflower Season is upon us! Back in April I told you about an upcoming historical romance anthology to raise funds for humanitarian relief in Ukraine. If you haven't already pre-ordered this collection written by more than 70 authors, tomorrow is the day you can purchase it for immediate download to your e-reading device. It's only $7.99 for more than 70 stories and all money earned will go to critically necessary agencies. 


All monies earned from the sale of this collection will be split between:  

 

1. Sunflower Peace https://www.sunflowerofpeace.com provides medical and humanitarian aid to assist the paramedics and doctors in the areas affected by the violence in Ukraine. 


2. CARE: Immediate aid, including food, water, hygiene kits, support services, and direct cash assistance, prioritizing women and girls, families, and the elderly.


Only $7.99 for more than 70 stories is a small price to pay to make a huge difference in the lives of people in desperate need. Click here for e-book purchase links. 


I've already pre-ordered my copy. And to help move things along, I'll also be giving away two e-book copies. Check the end of the post for details.   



Sunflower Season
A Historical Romance Anthology for Ukraine
Release Date: June 7, 2022


SUNFLOWER SEASON
 is a charity collection featuring stories (some never-been-published and some old favorites) by over 70 -- that's right -- SEVENTY of your favorite Historical Romance authors. ALL royalties will be donated to humanitarian relief in Ukraine. This set will be released on June 7, 2022 and will only be available for a limited time. Preorder now and enjoy a summer of historical romance!

Featuring novellas, stories and novels by Sabrina Jeffries, Christi Caldwell, Amalie Howard, Virginia Heath, Caroline Lee, Golden Angel, Mimi Mathews, Nicole Locke, Natasha Blackthorne, Royaline Sing, Lenora Bell, Sabrina Jeffries, Amy Quinton, Janna MacGregor, Annabelle Anders, Rachel Ann Smith, Eva Devon, Sandra Sookoo, Tabetha Waite, Diana Bold, Sadie Bosque, Cheryl Bolen, Erica Monroe, Kate Bateman, Cara Maxwell, Tracy Sumner, Jenna Jaxon, Jane Charles, Eliza Knight, Mariah Stone, Robyn DeHart, Wendy LaCapra, Hildie McQueen, Madeline Martin, Amy Rose Bennett, Ava Bond, Kristin Vayden, Piper Huguley, Fenna Edgewood, Kathryn Le Veque, Caroline Linden, Nancy Yeager, Dawn Brower, Celeste Barclay, Lauren Royal, Michele Pollock Dalton, Glynnis Campbell, Rose Pearson, Erica Ridley, Sydney Jane Baily, Deb Marlowe, Rebecca Paula, Amanda Mariel, Christine Sterling, Ava Stone, Lauren Smith, Sawyer Quinn, Caroline Warfield, Jessica A Clements, Jude Knight, Anna St. Claire, Tamara Gill, Gina Conkle, Charlie Lane, Terri Brisbin, Bronwen Evans, Emmanuelle de Maupassant, Merry Farmer, Tammy Andresen, Cecelia Mecca, Meredith Bond, Christine Donovan, Lana Williams, Carrie Lomax, Eve Pendle, Bethany Bennett, Bianca Blythe, Maggie Dallen, Samara Parish, Anna Campbell and more????

Again, ALL proceeds will be donated to Ukrainian relief efforts. We are not affiliated with any charities but are only doing what we can to provide help for the innocent people who've lost so much as a result of this senseless tragedy.

~~~~~~~~


I love sunflowers. They're such sturdy, happy flowers, standing strong in the face of adversity. A field of sunflowers never fails to lift my spirits. Tell me about your favorite flowers and what makes them so. 

Two randomly chosen people who post a comment before 11:00 PM, June 7 will each receive a Kindle copy of Sunflower Season from Amazon US. 

*Must be 18
*Void where prohibited

Friday, April 8, 2022

Spotlight and Giveaway: What a Day!

What a Day!
Short Stories by Southern Authors
Publisher: Heart of Dixie Fiction Writers
Release Date: April 5, 2022


Southern hospitality is alive and well. In this anthology you may find a little old, a little new, and perhaps some mysterious doings. How about a ghost — or was it a ghost pepper? Was that a witch, a sprite, an elf, or a seer? You may be looking for a beautiful garden, a mint julep, or a jazz festival. Come on down! Bless your heart, you may never want to leave.
 

What A Day! is a collection of stories about special, memorable days in the lives of an eclectic, quirky mix of characters. You'll enjoy fantasy, romance, historical, and more by best-selling authors like Linda Howard and Linda Winstead Jones as well as newer authors, none of which you'll want to miss! Come laugh, cry, gasp, and smile your way through these fun, light-hearted, suspenseful, and intriguing stories.



PJ's Thoughts:


You all know how much I enjoy the opportunity to sample new authors' stories. It's why there are so many anthologies tucked into the folders on my Kindle. The newest one is the brain child of the Heart of Dixie Fiction Writers, a group of Southern writers who are bringing the fun to this new collection of short stories. Each contribution is a quick, but satisfying, story that introduces readers to that author's writing style; a chance to take their characters for a test drive (so to speak) before buying their full-length books. Some of these authors' works are already familiar to me but others are new discoveries. I've already begun checking out backlists and making purchase lists. ;-)


Included in the What a Day! collection are the following authors and stories:


Mystic Matchmaker by Linda Winstead Jones

A Harvest Moon to Remember by Crystal R. Lee

Red Clay Blues by Tom Winstead

Poppet by Leslie Scott

The Perfect Birthday Gift by Betty Bolté

Friday at Maple Hill by Bonnie Gardner

Kidnapped for a Day by Carla Swafford

Remy's Reunion by CS Ward

Reviewing the Situation by Marilyn Baxter

Founders Day Surprise by Jannette Spann

Beer and Caviar by Linda Howard



Who's the last author you discovered through an anthology or short story collection? 


Are you familiar with any of the authors listed above? If so, do you have a favorite of their books or one you would recommend to other readers?


One person who posts a comment before 11:00 PM, April 9 will receive an e-book copy of the What a Day! collection. 


*U.S. only

*Must be 18

*Void where prohibited




Friday, December 10, 2021

Today's Special - - Spotlight on Amazon Holiday Short Stories & Tour Giveaway

 


PJ, here. December is such a busy month. If you're like me, you may be reaching for a novella or short story to to fill your reading urges between all the holiday items on your schedule. I'm happy to share a few quick reads from Amazon authors today, along with a giveaway that will help you buy more great books! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ring in the Holidays with Excerpts from Festive Reads by Bestselling Authors Rainbow Rowell, Suzanne Redfearn, J. Courtney Sullivan, and Chandler Baker 

This winter, rejoice in a festival of entertaining new tales from Amazon Original Stories. Unwrap unique short reads by bestselling authors to keep your holiday season merry and bright.   www.amazon.com/holidaystories 

Visit to browse a curated selection of stories—free for Prime Members and Kindle Unlimited Subscribers—and read on for excerpts from the titles by Rainbow Rowell, Suzanne Redfearn, J. Courtney Sullivan, and Chandler Baker.

 

***

 


After a long, lonely year, two people stumble toward each other in If the Fates Allow a holiday short story by Rainbow Rowell the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Eleanor & Park and Fangirl. 

Reagan crept to the side to get a closer look. It looked like the deer had managed to snag its foot between two crossbars and a small tree that was growing right next to the fence.                                                      

Mason was still inching toward it, with his hands out. 

“What are you doing?” Reagan asked again. 

“I’m going to help it get free.” 

“It’ll get itself free.”                                                         

“I don’t think it will. It’s wedged pretty good.” 

The deer broke into frantic movement, struggling against the fence. “It’s going to injure itself,” Mason said. 

“It’s going to injure you.” 

This wasn’t a fawn or a hungry little doe; the deer was as long as Reagan was tall—it must have weighed two hundred pounds.           

“Shhhh,” Mason was saying. Maybe to the deer, maybe to Reagan. He was crouching behind it, which seemed like the dumbest decision in the world.                                                         

Mason,” Reagan whispered.                                                           

“It’s all right,” he said, reaching for the trapped hoof. “Her other legs are on the other side of the fence.”                                                           

“I think that’s a buck.” 

“She’s not a buck, look at her head.” 

The deer struggled again. Mason froze. Reagan took another anxious step toward them. 

When the deer stilled, Mason shot forward. He bent the tree back and grabbed the trapped hoof, lifting it free. 

The deer pulled the leg forward—and in the same motion, kicked its other hind leg through the fence, catching Mason in the chest. 

“Oof,” he said, falling backward. 

The deer ran away, and Reagan ran to Mason. “Jesus Christ!” she shouted. “I told you!” 

Mason was lying on his back in the snow. Reagan went down on her knees beside him. “Are you okay?” she asked, touching his arm.                                                           

His eyes were wide. “I’m fine,” he said. “Just surprised. Is she okay?” 

“The deer?” 

He nodded. 

“She’s fine,” Reagan said. “She’ll live to spread ticks and disease, and destroy crops. Where’d she get you?” 

He pointed to his shoulder. 

“Can you move it?” 

He rotated his shoulder. He was broader than he looked from a distance. Broad even under his coat. His neck was thick, and one of his ears was partly inverted, probably from an old injury. He had snow in his ears and his hair. His hair was much darker than Reagan’s, almost black.                                                           

“Did you hit your head?” she asked.    

 

“No. I think I’m okay.” 

“That was so stupid, Mason—that could have been your face.” 

“I think I’m okay,” he repeated. He lifted his head up out of the snow and pushed up onto his elbows. 

Reagan moved away from him. 

He stood up, so she stood up, too. 

“That could have been your neck,” she said. “That was so stupid.”                                                          

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

Reagan’s heart was still pounding. Mason looked worried. There was snow on his glasses, and his mask had fallen below his nose. He was holding her arm. “I’m sorry, okay? Are you hurt?”                                                           

“No,” Reagan said. “I’m just . . .”                                                           

Mason was holding her arm. He was standing right next to her.                                                          

Reagan made a fist in the suede collar of his coat and pulled herself closer to him.                  

                                                           

His head dipped forward, more fiercely than she was expecting, to kiss her.

 

Read More About If the Fates Allow Here >>

 

***



 

From Suzanne Redfearn, the bestselling author of In an Instant, comes a heartfelt short story about one couple’s journey to discover if there really is a secret ingredient to happily ever after before their upcoming holiday wedding in The Marriage Test.

 

The server appears. “Something to drink with dinner?” 

“Do you have a white burgundy?” I ask, feeling like something bright to match my mood. 

The server points to the French section of the wine list. 

“Oh,” I say, as the list is limited and pricey. “I only want a glass. I’ll just take a—” 

“A bottle of the finest white burgundy you have,” Justin interrupts. 

“Justin—”                                                           

He waves me off. 

The server leaves, and I lean in to kiss him. “I love you.” 

“For ordering a bottle of wine?” 

“For ordering a bottle of wine to make me happy.” 

I sit back again, and he returns his hand to my knee. “Good evening.” 

I look up, and my breath catches. Standing a foot from our table is Annabelle Winters, my chef idol since college. She’s five feet tall with narrow shoulders and wide hips. Curls of wild black hair escape her white cap, flour dusts her black chef coat, and in her hands is a cutting board with a round loaf of bread.                                                           

“I understand tonight is a special occasion,” she says, a Mediterranean accent rounding the words. I tilt my head as Justin nods. “In my home country, we have a tradition: remarkable moments are celebrated by the breaking of bread. So, I made this loaf specially for you.” She sets the board on the table, wisps of steam spiraling from the golden, flaky crust. “This is pogača, the bread of my childhood and a symbol of love.”                                                         

With a small bow, she pivots away.                                                           

“That . . .that was . . .I can’t believe it . . .that was Annabelle Winters.”                                                         

Justin smiles wide, a proud grin that crinkles his cheeks. “You told her it was a special occasion?” 

“It is,” he says. “We are together.” 

I look at the loaf. “Wow. Pogača. My grandmother told me about this bread. It doesn’t use eggs or milk, and it’s cooked on a hearth over an open fire.”                                                          

“It’s still warm,” he says. “It must have just come out of the oven.”                                                          

I lift it to my face and inhale deeply, warm yeast and flour filling my nose. “Mmmm.” I hold it toward him.                                                           

He takes a breath, then leans back and nods. “Well, go on . . . break bread.”                                                          

Grinning like a kid at Christmas, I grip the edges and start to twist.                                                          

“Wait!” Justin yelps, stopping me, the loaf suspended.                                                          

He falls from his chair to the deck, my leg flopping from his lap along with his napkin.                                                          

I giggle. “What are you doing?”                                                           

“Okay,” he says, now kneeling on one knee. “Keep going.” 

The people at the table behind us have stopped what they were doing and are now looking at us, and I notice Annabelle Winters beside the entrance watching as well. I look at the bread, then at Justin, then back again, and blood rushes to my face as I realize what is happening.                                                          

“Really?” I say. 

He nods toward the bread. 

Cheeks spread wide, I tear it in two, sending gold crumbs raining onto the tablecloth.

Poking from the steaming center is the corner of a stainless-steel cylinder. 

I dig my fingers in to pry it loose and set it on the palm of my hand. An inch and a half tall and two inches in diameter, it’s engraved on top with two doves surrounded by a ring of leaves.                                                          

The woman behind us shifts for a better view.                                                           

Heart pounding, I prize off the lid. Sitting on a bed of white satin is a stunning sapphire ring, the center stone blue as the deepest ocean, a single diamond baguette on either side.                                                         

“Ava Nicole Barnes,” Justin says, his voice elevated for the audience, “keeper of my heart, guardian of my soul, and woman of my dreams, will you make me the happiest man on this earth and do me the great honor of becoming my wife?”

 

Read More About The Marriage Test Here >>

 

***

 



Not happy? No problem. Fake it. From New York Times bestselling author J. Courtney Sullivan comes the sharp witted short story, Model Home, about the reality of reality TV. 

On the ninth take, things get heated between the husband, Todd, and his wife, Noreen.                                                          

He complains that this house only has three bedrooms, leaving no possibility for the man cave he was promised he’d get if they gave up their downtown Milwaukee loft for the suburbs. She seems flabbergasted that he can’t see the advantage of sacrificing that space for what is by far the biggest backyard of the three houses they’ve looked at.                                                           

Todd says in a tone that manages to sound both jokey and hostile, “If we buy this house, you can’t complain when I play my electric guitar in the living room. Have you thought of that?”                                                           

Noreen replies, “I’m only ever thinking of Colby and Mason.”                                                          

If you ask me, they both deserve an Oscar. The tension is palpable, even though everyone present knows they already bought this house seven months ago.                                                          

House Number One belongs to Todd’s cousin. It isn’t for sale. House Number Two is soon to be listed. The owner was happy to provide access, since being featured on our show, even as a reject, will sell the place in a minute.                                                           

I, the wise referee/realtor/designer, smile and say for what feels like the one trillionth time in my life, “Sounds like you two have a lot to discuss. Babe, let’s leave them to it.”                                                          

I wonder briefly if I’ll ever get to say these words again on camera, but I have to put the thought from my head.                                                           

I never call Damian babe in real life. Especially not now, but even back when I could stand him. 

He doesn’t meet my eye. He’s staring into space, going out of his way to look disinterested. No one notices but me. Lately I think of my husband as a disappointment turducken: a lack of ambition wrapped in a beer gut wrapped in a statement tee designed for a much fitter man.

 

Read More About Model Home Here >>

 

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Everyone is home for the holidays, clamoring for all the Christmas cheer only their mother can whip up. They can already smell the chestnuts roasting—or is that Mom’s hair on fire? From New York Times bestselling author Chandler Baker comes the laugh-out-loud short story, Oh. What. Fun. 

During normal times, Mom loves to spend most of her day on the phone with one of us or the other. As soon as she hangs up with Channing, she’ll call Sammy; as soon as she’s done with Sammy, Tyler will call; and then she starts the whole process again. Not that we’d ever say this out loud, but we’re in the thick of our lives, so we’re busy with dating and kids and friends getting married and pregnant and such, and, well, Mom’s stories are kind of dull. Though obviously, in retrospect, this is an instance when we should have paid better attention.                                                           

Unlike Mom, Channing never complains about anything and so she didn’t make a big deal of it when Mom, again, forty-five minutes after the agreed-upon time, took over the kids, leading them on a special explorer hunt to find Canelo the Elf.                                                          

Mom is wild about that Elf on the Shelf. Canelo joined us three Christmases ago. The twins are in a Spanish- immersion program, hence the name, and Channing and Doug explained to us that if Canelo started the month of December at their house, he’d need to travel for the time spent at Grandpa and Grandma’s. It only made sense. So the trick is there are actually two Canelos. Mom bought a body double so Channing could leave hers safely at home. Canelo’s antics are one of those things we all tease her about: Somebody has too much time on her hands. But the truth is, we do kind of get a kick out of him.                                                           

Mom keeps the Elf ’s next move top secret from everyone, even Dad. Last year, Canelo relaxed in a Crockpot Jacuzzi filled with marshmallows; then he stole all of our toilet paper to build snowmen and rode a zip line down the stairs. This year was off to an impressive start as the twins took binoculars and donned safari hats to track down Canelo, who was wearing camouflage in one of the old oak trees. But we guess we’ll never know what else Canelo had in store, because Canelo hasn’t moved in two days. His painted, unblinking eyes stare at us from his perch, and none of us have been able to work out yet how it is we should explain this to the twins.                                                           

We think at some point during the Canelo expedition Sammy pulled up and plopped down on the couch, probably with his shoes still on, and started messing around on his phone. Every group of siblings has a “one,” and Sammy, for us, is the Boring One, mainly because he’s twenty-five and always on his phone. Also he just broke up with his girlfriend (see: always on phone), and yet when we tasked him with one very simple to-do—break into Mom’s phone—well all the sudden he apparently “didn’t know anything about phones.”                                                          

Sammy didn’t see anything or hear anything or smell anything unusual, but as we’ve already pointed out, this can’t be taken as gospel since he was preoccupied texting back and forth with his ex. 

Sammy

do you know what kind of laundry detergent you used to use on our clothes? Bc mine smell all weird now.

                                                                       

Mae-Bell                                              

It’s the fabric softener. Downy infusions. Scent: Romantic.                                                        

Later, we passed around the conversation to weigh in by committee on whether she meant anything by it. We even consulted the Downy website while Mom handed out homemade eggnog because none of us care for the store bought, and there we learned that the Romantic scent carries “sensual aromas of delicate floral, white tea, and peony,” and at least half of us found it difficult to overlook a smoking gun like “sensual” right there as the subtext. 

After dinner, Mom asked Channing if she’d mind watching the twins for a few minutes while she cleaned the kitchen, and we all took bets on whether Sammy and Mae-Bell would be back together by spring. The holidays can be hard on people, you know. Everyone except for Mom anyway, who just loves an excuse to corral us all together under one roof. Nothing makes her more upset than a year when she has to share Channing and the twins with Doug’s family. This year, Doug’s family was indisposed because they were up in Vermont visiting Doug’s aunt, but they probably could have been in the ICU and Mom would have been just as happy as long as the result was having Channing and the girls all to herself. Not to be alarmist, but of all the years to up and vanish, you just wouldn’t expect it to be one where Channing was set to be home the whole time.

 

Read More About Oh. What. Fun. Here >>

 

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