PJ here. It is with immense pleasure that I welcome Heather Ashby and Christopher Bergeron to The Romance Dish today. Co-authors of the newly released contemporary military romance, UNFORGETTABLE, Ashby and Bergeron have the backgrounds that bring authenticity to their characters and the journeys they travel. If you're looking for intelligent writing, fast-paced stories, edge-of-your-seat action, and deeply emotional relationships all wrapped up in duty, honor and service then look no further than the books of the "Love in the Fleet" series. I highly recommend them!
Award
winning author, Heather Ashby is a Navy veteran who taught school and raised a
family while accompanying her Navy husband around the United States, Japan, and
the Middle East. In gratitude for their Army son’s safe return from Afghanistan
and Iraq, she now writes military romance novels, donating half her royalties to
Fisher House Foundation in support of wounded warriors and their families. Her
son serves as her cover model, helping to raise money for Fisher Houses around
the world. Heather lives in Atlantic Beach, Florida with her retired Navy
husband. Unforgettable is the fourth
and final book in the “Love in the Fleet” series.
CHRISTOPHER BERGERON
Christopher
Bergeron is a retired Major in the United States Marine Corps, with twenty-four
years of service. His ten deployments include combat tours in Desert
Shield/Desert Storm; Somalia; Kosovo; Haiti; Fallujah, Iraq; and Helmand
Province, Afghanistan. Chris’s travels have covered the globe, including more
than twenty countries. He lives with his wife and son in Rockford, Michigan,
where he is currently a Communications/Marketing student at Grand Valley State
University. Unforgettable is his
first novel.
On Love – and
Broccoli
by Heather Ashby
Thanks for inviting me today, PJ. I always enjoy chatting
with your readers. I’d like to share a lesson I learned about ten years ago
that has strengthened not only my marriage, but my friendships, as well.
My husband chews loudly. Seriously, you can hear him eat
potato chips in the next room. And he sniffs. Instead of finding a tissue or
taking a Sudafed, he sniffs. Repeatedly. I've come close to losing my mind
during allergy season.
And, he buys too much broccoli.
My retired Navy husband is an awesome man, nicknamed
Commander Integrity because he exemplifies an officer and a gentleman. He’s
also an awesome husband—when not chewing or sniffling. Since he’s fully
retired, he takes care of everything in our house, yard, and lives, so I can
teach school by day and write books at night. I try not to complain about
anything, yet that’s just what I used to do.
He does the food shopping and all the cooking. My job is to
write the weekly menu and put the food away when he returns from the grocery
store. Without fail, he buys too much broccoli. I mean, Army sized rations of
broccoli. If it’s on the menu for one night that week, he buys enough for three
nights. I used to roll my eyes, shake my head, and explain to him how much is
in a serving of broccoli for two people. I don’t do that anymore. I simply love
him.
One day about ten years ago, I was putting the groceries
away—and rolling my eyes at the volume of broccoli—when God hit me with a
spiritual two-by-four. It came to me that someday Commander Integrity could be
gone from my life. I saw myself wandering the produce aisle of a grocery store
and having an emotional meltdown in front of the broccoli. I then chastised
myself for obsessing over something so stupid when I should have simply been
appreciating having this wonderful man in my life. And the fact that he does
the shopping. And the cooking. And all the other wonderful things he does for
me.
I sat on the floor in front of the vegetable bin of my refrigerator
and had a good cry that day. Then I took a vow that every time my husband does
something unimportant that annoys me, I will focus on one of the fabulous
things he does for me. Did I mention that he scoops and cleans the cat boxes?
And cleans house now that I’m teaching again? How about car maintenance? He
takes care of all that to ensure that I’m safe on the road, with exactly the
right tire pressure. He not only pays the bills, but pays them with his money. And
does all the yard work. (It’s true. I sleep with my yard boy.) And he checks
Metric Junkie every morning and evening to track my book sales.
And did I mention that he puts up with me? Commander
Integrity is a quiet, left-brained engineer. I am a right-brained, zany,
impulsive, talkative, ADHD, creative person who is either doing five things at
once or sound asleep when work needs to be done. Just tolerating living with me
is a full-time job, I’m sure. And he excels at it.
I decided I did not want to be an elderly widow, standing in
the produce section, saying, “Why wasn’t I nicer? Why did I complain over the
silly, little things he did that annoyed me. I would give anything for him to
be here right now, chewing loudly, sniffing repeatedly, and buying too much broccoli.
If only I had the past forty years back so I could focus on all the good things
he did for me, instead of complaining.”
Thank you, God, for giving me those forty years to do just
that. It’s never too late to make this decision. We all do annoying things. And
we all love people who do annoying things. If they are unimportant things, this
is a way to tune them out and focus on a person’s good qualities instead.
I have a lovely British reader, award-winning, international
author, Carrie King (www.joni-pip.com). She lost her husband unexpectedly in an
industrial accident. He sounds like he was the perfect husband—and human being.
When help arrived at the scene, he directed medical personnel away from him so
they could care for those with more urgent needs. Carrie had kissed her husband
good-bye and sent him off to work that day. He never returned. Fortunately,
Carrie says she has no regrets, only happy memories. She appreciated all he did
for her and their family and told him often. Think about the lives lost on
9/11. More than three thousand people went to work and did not go home at the
end of the day. Now is the time to appreciate everything about our loved ones.
Now, when my husband comes home with too much broccoli, I
just smile and appreciate that I have him—and remember all the wonderful things
he does for me. And I plan another meal or two with broccoli.
What annoying habit does your loved one have? And what
positive trait of theirs can you focus on instead
when they do that irritating thing? I have a $10 Amazon gift card for one lucky
commenter.
The 9/11 spirits aboard USS New York are back! Their mission: help Adam, Gwyn, Mike, and Cate find their happily ever afters—and stay alive. As the only person who can see them, Lieutenant Gwyn Pritchard tries to help the spirits move on to the light. That is, when she’s not helping Gunnery Sergeant Adam Connor heal from his PTSD—or falling madly in love with him.
Captain
Cate Hawkins, has run from her unconventional childhood by becoming a Marine
Corps pilot. But when a mission in East Africa goes awry, she finds herself in
a race for her life. After burying the hatchet with Cate, Navy pilot Mike
Nikolopoulos wants nothing more than to rescue his new love. If the spirits
help him save her, they’ll finally be free to move on. But can Mike overcome a
sudden fear of flying to find his way to Cate before terrorists repeat “Black
Hawk Down”—with a female American pilot this time?
Twitter:
www.@HAshbyAuthor
Facebook:
Heather Ashby Author
Amazon:
http://amzn.to/1PAHVCj
Nook:
http://bit.ly/1FACsDv
N o dishes In sink
ReplyDeleteKimh
HAHA! I'm guilty of that too :-)
DeleteGuilty as charged!
DeleteLOL, PJ. I'm always too busy to "do them or load them NOW." I'd rather do it once a day - later. :-)
DeleteSo many annoying habits really, but I must say that he also has to put up with mine.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is so right. If they were to make a list of the things we do that are annoying, it would probably be even. Just love and appreciate him :-)
DeleteIt usually balances out, doesn't it?
DeleteHeather, as usually, you have a brilliant way at tackling life and an even better knack for sharing your insight! I bet you're an amazing teacher!!! :-) You're message is invaluable: appreciate what you have because you never know when it'll be gone.
ReplyDeleteLove it!!
Annoying habits my loved ones have? Gosh, I'd hate to point those out on the internet. Not when I know I've got some, too. :-) So, I'll take a page out of your fabulous book on how to live a blessed life and say-- I've been blessed with wonderful parents, kids, siblings, extended family and friends who love and support me-- even when I'm being grumpy or moody.
I'm always running late, can be a little too talkative or not speak up when I should and have flighty side that comes out now and again. I figure, we're all a work in progress. :-)
I figure, we're all a work in progress. :-)
DeleteI love that and totally agree. Thanks for stopping by!
And, once again, your wisdom trumps mine, Pris. I SHOULD HAVE ASKED, "What annoying habit do YOU have that you might try to change, etc?"
DeleteHeather, thank you for this. My husband has allergies too. It does annoy me when he is constantly blowing his nose or clearing his throat. He goes through a ridiculous amount of toilet paper. LOL! But I would rather have him than a full toilet paper roll. I am going to gmail chat him right now at work and tell him how much I appreciate and love him!
ReplyDeleteI'd say you have your priorities in the right order, Jan! I bet your call puts a huge smile on his face and a warm glow in his heart, whether he admits it or not. ;-)
DeleteAwww, Jan. You just made my day :-) I'm so glad to see this lesson already working for others. I've sat on this for years - just calling it The Broccoli Thing. One of these days it will go into my non-fiction book that will be a collection of the other Spiritual Two-By-Fours that I have received upside my head over the years! Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteHeather, I'm married to a sniffer too! And my hubs does the shopping too because we both worked when we got married so we split up the chores. But my hubs doesn't buy too much, he buys too little! It can be a real challenge when cooking. But, I'm sure I'm no picnic to live with either, so after thirty years, like you, we've learned not to sweat the little stuff. Life's too short! Congrats on the new release! Crossing fingers for mega sales!!!!
ReplyDeleteafter thirty years, like you, we've learned not to sweat the little stuff. Life's too short!
DeleteOne of the most important lessons we can learn, in m opinion.
Thanks, Tammy. And uber congrats to you on your debut novel, IT HAS TO BE HIM, which is burning up the charts with over 700 reviews!!! I am SO excited for you and hope you're enjoying the ride! On to more mundane things such as broccoli, I'm chuckling thinking of you trying to divide up one stalk of broccoli for dinner!!! Hugs.
DeleteLovely, Heather!
ReplyDeleteInstead of telling you an annoying thing, I'm gonna share a funny one. Every time he clears his throat, the rhythm is Beethoven's Fifth. It cracks me up every time. And then the music plays in my head for an hour afterward.
Oh, I love that! LOL!
DeleteThat is hysterical, Abby!!! He sounds very talented :-) And you know what Dave Barry says about what to do when you have a song stuck in your head? He says to "give it to someone else." Just try humming a few bars of "Davy Crockett" (for us older folks, right, PJ?) or "It's a small world after all." Thanks for stopping by, Abby!
DeleteGee, thanks, Heather! I'm going to be "born on a mountain top" all darn day! LOL!
DeleteHeather, thanks so much about the great reminder to think about the good things in our loved ones. My hubby is a sniffer, too. I laughed when I read that. He also leaves fingerprints everywhere. Next time I'm cleaning them off the stainless steel appliances I will remember your great advice.
ReplyDeleteAwww, that's great, Merrillee. Yup, you can now lovingly wipe off the fingerprints :-) Blessings to you and hubby.
DeleteMerrilee, my late husband was the neat one in our marriage. I shudder to think of all the hours he spent cleaning my fingerprints from his pristine appliances. *grin*
DeleteHAHA. I'm looking for the LIKE button, PJ, but there isn't one :-)
DeleteWhat a thoughtful essay and I am enjoying the responses because everyone has an annoying habit. My husband will pick up piles of paper around the house and put them in one place. I end up sorting through the pile to find the magazines I want to give to a friend, find a bill, put things in the recycle bin, etc., and grumbling. He also keeps the kitchen clean and cooks our dinner almost every night to redeem himself.
ReplyDeleteHAHA! YES to redeeming himself by cooking and cleaning up the kitchen. When we have a dinner party, at the end I stay at the table talking and hubby starts washing dishes. The women at the table nod their approval and give him kudos. He always turns just his head toward them - hands still immersed in soapy water - and says, "No man has yet been shot while doing the dishes." Hugs to you and your hubby!
DeleteWelcome Heather and Christopher,
ReplyDeleteI like the premise of UNFORGETTABLE! I'm looking forward to reading about Mike, Cate Gwen and Adam.
My husband is OCD about cleanliness, no shoes in the house I agree with, however he also doesn't like people to visit. If we do have company he has to sterilize everything with Lysol. He also won't let me do the wash. I hate having to wait for him to get it done. For example, I would like my sheets cleaned every two weeks.
On the positive side, he's smart and handy. He can fix just about everything except the car. He's trustworthy, honest and a wonderful dad and grandpa. He's my best friend and soulmate. We will celebrate 38 years in July.
Congratulations on 38 years of marriage, Laurie! That is no small feat these days. The two of you are definitely doing something right! But if you get tired of him, just send him our way so he can go OCD on my house. (Although he can't touch the laundry; I love to do laundry.) I've been working two jobs this year so my husband has picked up the cleaning (although he doesn't quite notice that a week - two weeks - three weeks have gone by…) But when he does clean, I walk in from work and say, "Ah, I love the smell of Lysol in the afternoon," because I'm so thankful he'd doing the cleaning.
DeleteMy late husband was my best friend, gardener, artist, painter, skier, everything. But he refused to hang towels properly. Instead, after a shower, he'd stuff them onto the towel rack however he could and walk off. Because he was my second husband, I knew to appreciate what a good, good man I had so when we moved to our next home, I diplomatically asked for a his and her bathrooms, claiming I wanted a frilly, feminine one. I helped him with the masculine one and he was happy. So was I. I only have good memories.
ReplyDeleteAwww, great story, Kathleen. I know your husband was awesome and you appreciated everything about him :-) Chuckling over the towels, though. And weren't you smart to give him his own bathroom so it was never an issue again. Hugs.
DeleteDear Heather, my husband is the best also, (as you know) and I know how lucky I am to have him. And, I have him because of all the lessons I learned from you in my younger life.. LOL and I just finished my lunch, which ironically was barbecued ribs and brocolli left over from last night! Love you and your husband! (SAP)
ReplyDeleteAwwww, this just made my day - and made me cry, SAP. Blessings to you and your awesome husband and that goes for the Lieutenant (select) as well. Big hugs.
DeleteSuch a beautiful post Heather. When it comes down to it life is too short and it's so much more fullfilling letting them know how grateful we are or lucky. :) Unforgettable is on my TRL. Sounds like a great read.
ReplyDeleteCarol L
Lucky4750 (at) aol (dot) com
Yes, Carol. Show them gratitude :-) Hope you enjoy Unforgettable. A lot of lessons in there too. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteSuch a beautiful post Heather. When it comes down to it life is too short and it's so much more fullfilling letting them know how grateful we are or lucky. :) Unforgettable is on my TRL. Sounds like a great read.
ReplyDeleteCarol L
Lucky4750 (at) aol (dot) com
Great post and yes life is to short. I guess the thing that annoys me the most with me the most with my husband is him never putting things away. What ever he has he will lay it down and that is where it stays until I pick it up and put it away.
ReplyDeleteLove and Broccoli is a terrific post. I did my share of complaining about little things that really don't matter in the scheme of things right up to the day my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He was not Mr. Integrity and his disease didn't change his self centered focus, but there were still so many things that I loved about him and our life together and for the next five years I focused on them. When he was his most obnoxious, I kept reminding myself it was often his frustration and fear of the disease and his own mortality talking and not the man I loved. He's been gone a long time now and believe me, I so wish I could have him back, annoying habits, and all. I'm so glad you had your meltdown in front of the fridge instead of the doctor's office and I pray you have another forty years to enjoy Commander Integrity.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Skye. Bless you for nurturing your husband through his ill health - and for just loving him through it all. I'm sure you treasure all the good memories of your lives together. I do feel blessed that I "figured it out years ahead." That's why I love sharing it with people so they, too, can try the "substitution thing."
DeleteIf a job has numerous parts (i.e., spackling a wall's problem areas, sanding it, wiping it down, and painting it), he often skips one or more of those steps. Makes it frustrating when I go to paint (because he says the wall is ready), and I find problem areas still.
ReplyDeleteWe are painting almost our entire house right now in preparation for our daughter's May wedding. After 34 years of marriage, I know that my husband means well, and I focus on how the job will eventually get done (but it might take a little longer than expected because I/we have to keep on going back a step or two). At least we are doing it together (and I'm not doing it alone).
I keep telling him that since he is 66 (and I'm 56), I can't see us ever painting the entire house again. It should be painted regularly, but in the 32 years we've lived here, some rooms are getting painted for the first time (rec room, laundry room)....
Good of you to realize this in advance. Maybe you could do the prep work for these jobs and he could do the final step? Hope it all works out. I'm sure your daughter's wedding will be beautiful! And when it's over, you two can enjoy your freshly-painted house :-)
DeleteGreat post, Heather. You brought tears to my eyes! My husband doesn't have too many annoying habits, but I tend to be a super neat freak and he tends to be much more...uh, relaxed. So the things that get dropped on the bar when he comes in or the dirty dishes that get set in the sink instead of put in the dishwasher can be annoying. But like yours, my husband has done the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, etc. for the last several years so I can write. We're both blessed with good husbands.
ReplyDeleteYes, Carol. We are blessed to have good men in our lives. Guess we'll just have to overlook some of the annoying habits…because, of course, we don't have any :-)
Deletechews ice
ReplyDeleteDenise
LOL!!!!!
DeleteSo no male person in the house if you don't count the felines...but I have been blessed with awesome parents who were surprised with me later in life....early to bed farmers who sprouted a nite owl out of 5 kids...learned don't mom after 9pm and she has learned to not call me before 930 am. ..when they come to visit don't think your glass is safe sitting on the side table even partly full, mom cleans and moves everything. Even putting away dishes and groceries,I've learned to just go back later and move to where I want them to be.....amazed dad puts up with 2 strong and stubon femalez at times.
ReplyDeleteenjoyed your intereview. Blessings
Ah, the old "Parents' annoying habits." Ha, bless you, dear. I learned to use this prayer when flying to visit my elderly, eccentric mother: "Please, God, help me to lover her as she is." Actually, you would have hit it off great with her, Morse. Nobody could call her until after noon (she stayed up all night reading) and she did allow the retirement home people to come in and clean….as then she couldn't find anything AND they tried to arrive before noon. Gotta love 'em, Morse. God bless.
DeleteElderly parents bring some interesting quirks, don't they? My dad and step-mom came to stay with me a few years back when I had major surgery and was out of commission for six weeks. Once I was back on my feet, I discovered nothing in my kitchen was where it had been before surgery. My sweet almost 80 year old step-mom, beaming from ear to ear, said, "Isn't it wonderful? So much more efficient!" She had completely rearranged my entire kitchen - the counters, cabinets, closets...everything. She was so happy to be of help and my dad was so darn proud of her. I didn't have the heart to be upset so I agreed it was indeed wonderful and waited until they went home before changing it back the way I wanted it. She and my dad are both gone now and I'm so very grateful that I didn't let their "helpfulness" annoy me.
DeletePERFECT, PJ!
DeleteMom just laughs at me now....and When I clean up at their house,I know I put stuff in wrong places...yes love to stay up late reading while mom reads early in the morning. ..dad says he gets naps but still early to bed...just love them
DeleteThat was such an awesome blog, Heather! Thank you for sharing :-)
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question, I don't think I've reached the stage of accepting all of my husband's annoying quirks yet. Or at least, it's usually belatedly that I make myself look at the positives instead. But it's definitely good to take stock every now and again and appreciate the positives (there are so much more of them) which can be easy to overlook at times. My husband reminds me a lot of yours, and he puts up with me quite well too! :-)
Catherine, Australia
I think it's easy to get caught up in the minor annoyances of everyday life and forget about how we'd feel if that person was no longer in our life. It's just part of being human. It wasn't until my husband suffered a severe stroke that I realized how little those annoying habits really do matter.
DeleteBless you, PJ for caring for him. I'm sure you always appreciated all the wonderful attributes of your husband.
DeleteNot always, Heather! I'm just as human as the next person. LOL
DeleteHis stroke robbed him of his ability to read, write or speak; quite a devastating blow for a highly intelligent and exceptionally articulate man. Over the next five years, until his death, I was by his side as we rode the post-stroke highs and lows and the many other health crises that surfaced during that time. I quickly learned that the "little things" that had bugged me before just didn't matter. Following my husband's death, that lesson was reinforced as I supported my dad through his final days following a terminal cancer diagnosis and watched my step-mom take the very difficult and heartbreaking Alzheimer's journey. Not sweating the small stuff is an attitude that I continue to carry with me today and, hopefully, always will.
Bless you, PJ, for caring for all of them. I'm sure it was a labor of love. Blessings.
DeleteAnd blessings to you, too, Catherine in Australia! I know your husband is awesome and has LOTS of super duper positive qualities and does a lot for you. My essay is just a way to help us all tune out some of their quirks, because yes, above all, they put us with ours! Hugs.
DeleteGreetings to you all from across The Pond! Today, is the 15th anniversary of my beautiful husband's tragic death and I just want to remind all of you, whose husbands are still alive, to never let him leave the house or in fact you leave the house (or even go to sleep) without kissing him, 'Goodbye' and telling him you love him......you never know there might be a day when he doesn't come back. Forget the foibles, flaws and faults and just see the love and laughter. I am so glad I did! Love to you all, especially you, Lovely Heather!
ReplyDeleteMy dearest Carrie, I did not know that today was THE day or I would not have shared your story. Although…we don't know how many women out there will treasure their husbands even more today having read the post and your comment above. You know I send you hugs and blessings from across the pond. May God wrap you and your daughters up in His arms tonight and hold and rock you. God bless. Love, Heather
DeleteThank you so much, Heather, perhaps something good will come of today then! I am off to spend the day with my daughters and beautiful grandchildren. See....I am so blessed! Much love as always. Carrie
DeleteSo glad to hear you will be spending the day with your girls and your grandchildren. Yes, you are blessed. Thank you for letting me share your story. I think it touched a lot of lives today…and a lot of women out there are appreciating their husbands! Bless you and yours, dear. Hugs.
DeleteI'm fully aware that I am incredibly lucky in my husband. He probably does more housework than I do including cooking now that he is working from home and I am working outside of the home instead of being a full time mom. The most annoying thing he does is snore (no he is not perfect, I've just learned to tune out the annoying things). If he is snoring too loudly for me to sleep, I remind myself that it could be worse - at least he is in bed with me. He often travels for work and isn't always home anyway - at least I know he is coming back.
ReplyDeleteSO true, Glenda. Yes, he's there with you and/or he will be coming home. It was how I felt when my husband would deploy. I DO treasure time alone, but not LIVING alone. I always knew he was coming back…sometime. Try to remember the good stuff the next time he snores :-)
DeleteThank you so much for visiting with us today, Heather and reminding us to count our blessings. Sometimes we get caught up in the little annoyances of life and it never hurts to be reminded of what's really important.
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best with UNFORGETTABLE!
Thank YOU, PJ for hosting me today. I always enjoyed chatting with your readers. Yes, to getting caught up in the "small stuff." Hopefully, we all will remember - me included - to not sweat it.
DeleteOh my goodness. I think that might have been the best post I ever read. You have me all teared up.
ReplyDeleteI cant even think of something my husband does that irritates me right now. He is perfect.
I have never felt so lucky or blessed as I do right this minute. I have enjoyed our first 35 years together.
In hopes for another 35. So nope, I cant think of a single thing he does to annoy me. Nothing at all.
Wait, he always forgets to rinse out his milk glass or cereal bowl. haha
But next time I see it sitting in the sink, I will rinse it out and smile while doing it.
Thank you, Heather.
You just made my day, Krazymama! SO glad you took the words to heart and will appreciate everything about him from now on. Hugs
DeleteThank you so much for hosting Heather today and for all of your support for UNFORGETTABLE and Heather's other wonderful books! You guys are the best and it's such a joy to publish Heather and Chris :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder to focus on the great things about him when he drives me crazy, He is 95% awesome and I love him dearly but when I tell him I love him, he answers, "Uh huh". He proves it all the time but sometimes I want to hear it.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Sounds like things around here. Once I read THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, it helped me deal with that SO MUCH. My husband is a "Deed Doer." I am an "Affirmer." That means I express love by complimenting people, saying affirmations, and I love you, etc. He shows his live by doing labors of love for the people he loves. Once I understood that we spoke different love languages, I GOT IT. I believe every couple should read this book before even contemplating marriage. It helped me figure out my husband AND my mother - also spoke another Love Language than I did. Now go give that husband a hug - which will probably drive him crazy. But do it anyway :-)
DeleteAfter almost 43 years of marriage, other than misplacing his keys (even though there has been a basket or dish for them since the first year we were married), about the only other annoying habit he has is asking me why I need more books. I will admit he has a point. I keep finding more I want to read and my TBR Mountain keeps growing. He has run out of wall space to build book shelves. I know I have so many more annoying habits than he does, it would be unfair to complain.
ReplyDeleteI hope you explain "because my books are my friends." He sounds wonderful and, as I said above, bless my husband for putting up with me. Bless you both for 43 years of marriage.
ReplyDelete