I am so happy to welcome debut author Caren Crane to The Romance Dish today! Caren is no stranger to the Dishes. I have had the pleasure of reading Caren's regular posts at the Romance Bandits blog for the past several years as well as experiencing her sassy wit and humor in person at various romance conferences. I've been waiting a long time to read a romance written by Caren and am so excited that her book, KICK START, is finally out there for everyone to enjoy. I read it last weekend and had such a good time in Caren's fictional town of Cross Springs that I'm ready to return for another visit. Fortunately, Caren plans to take us back there in her second book, CROSS TALK.
You can learn more about Caren by visiting her website and can connect with her at Facebook and Twitter.
Welcome, Caren!
My Love Affair with Do-Overs
I don't know when I first heard the term
"do-over," but I know that I grasped the concept with both hands. The
chance to try again, to fix mistakes, to possibly change your luck, your path,
your very future? I was all in!
The trouble is, Life doesn't often give you chances for
do-overs. Words cannot be unspoken, actions cannot be undone (or done if they
were neglected), no matter how much we might want them to be. We're all sort of
stuck with the messes we make. I have children who are 18, 20 and 27. As you
can imagine, I have had countless
opportunities for "teaching moments" about handling the consequences
of one's words and actions. In the interest of full disclosure, I had lots of
practice with this myself long before
I was a mother. J
So I know how rare the do-over really is.
About 12 years ago, I began writing fiction. It was the most
exciting thing I had ever done. I quickly realized I knew nothing at all, but
then set out to fix that minor problem. After I got the basics under my belt, I
figured out the secret of fiction—there
are NO RULES. There are tropes and reader expectations but there are no
hard and fast rules about what the writer can or cannot make happen. You can't
imagine how very exciting this was to me! I—the mostly rule-following good
girl—found this freedom a little scary. Okay, kind of terrifying, really. But
my characters didn't have to be as
scared of this as I was. They could
do anything!
When I hit on the concept for my debut novel, Kick
Start, I was worried. Not for me, but for Linda, my
heroine. I gave
this woman a lot of problems: a bitter divorce, three kids at challenging
stages of life, a huge mortgage, no higher education and very little job
experience. I also stuck her with a small town full of nosy neighbors, an
inferiority complex and a serious need to fit in at all costs. To counter all
that, I gave her a great sense of humor, a kick-ass best friend and a bit of a
rebellious past. Then I gave her a Secret Weapon.
Linda got a do-over.
Honestly, I was worried for her. Her do-over sort of scared
us both. It took her kick-ass best friend to force both of us into action. Her
best friend issues a challenge that Linda's long-buried rebellious streak can't
resist. She decides to go back to college (something that makes my brain hurt
to consider) and, in short order, begins to consider dating a younger man. Her
inner approval-seeker is strong, plus she has impressionable children at home.
She feels certain no one will approve...but... But. There's that do-over I forced on her. Her younger man, Jack,
is exactly her type of man. The kind
she dated early and often before she met the man she married. Her ex was not
really her type, but an unexpected pregnancy forced Linda to accept him as
"the one" for the baby's sake.
Nineteen years later, she has a chance to start again. To
consider a new life with a new man. If
she can give herself permission. The objections of her community are not all in
her head, after all. She gets plenty of unsolicited advice and knows, without a
doubt, that giving Jack a chance means life has no chance of ever going back to
any semblance of what it was. Life will never be the same. I was terrified for
her!
It was hard for me, as a mother and a wife, to think about
all the implications such a move would have. If I had to start over, I think I might experience a little of what Linda goes through. I'm
not a huge approval seeker, but I want people to think well of me. I think most
of us do. To defy the expectations of people you know and love is scary, so
seizing the chance for a do-over at love was a Huge Dilemma for my heroine! I
really do have a love affair with do-overs, though, and cannot resist giving
them to all my (poor, beleaguered) heroines. Watching how each one responds to
the challenges the do-over presents is the most exciting part of writing for
me.
What about you? Would
you seize the chance for a do-over? If so, what would you do again or do
differently? I would probably go to medical school, but I have a feeling I
would still want to write. Let me know about your do-over dreams!
PJ here. I'm giving away two digital copies (Kindle or Nook) of Caren's debut book, KICK START today so let's hear about those do-over dreams!
PJ here. I'm giving away two digital copies (Kindle or Nook) of Caren's debut book, KICK START today so let's hear about those do-over dreams!
Hi Caren(waving madly),
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your debut release. If I had a chance I would go away for college instead of going to a school close to home.
Jane, so great to see you here! I think LOTS of us would take this do-over. I went to a college that was about 60% commuters (including me all but one year). I wish I had applied to schools further from home, for sure. Like maybe California! :) I encouraged my kids to go somewhere else for college, but one stayed in town and one only went 45 min away (though that kind of qualifies, IMO, if your parents are reluctant to drive out there and you have no car on campus!). The youngest is at a school 4-1/2 hrs away, so she took it seriously. Now I'm afraid she'll never leave the mountains! (I know I wouldn't!)
DeleteHi Jane! I went to school about 1.5 hours from my home. It was close but far enough that I learned independence.
DeleteCaren, those mountains are gorgeous. I wouldn't blame her if she stayed. On the positive side, it would give you an excuse to visit that beautiful place more often! :)
Congratulations on the release of your first book. How exciting for you. I hope the release of KICK START goes very well.
ReplyDeleteMy do over would have a lot to do with planning a bit better for our "Golden Years." It would have been nice to have had a career in a good paying job so I would have something for retirement. But I was a military wife and chose to be a stay at home mom and volunteer. It was a different world 40 years ago and with fewer options for moms. I don't regret the path I took, but being a full time volunteer and having two jobs with non-profits once our children were grown, did nothing for financial security - low pay and no benefits. IRAs didn't exist then and when they were allowed for nonworking moms, the one I chose tanked and I lost everything I had saved, then they changed the rules again.
As far as my husband and family are concerned, no do overs are necessary. I was lucky enough to get it right the first time.
Librarypat, I think it's easy to second-guess ourselves about career choices, esp. when faced with financial constraints. One of my friends says she should have bought a lottery ticket every day rather than put money in her 401k! Most days, I'm convinced I'll never get to retire. And really, I would be happy to write forever! Not show up at the day job, though. :) I often wonder what I would have chosen if I had to choose another career. I would have loved to go to medical school, but I'm not sure I could have lived through my internship. I need sleep!
DeleteAs you said, though, you have a great husband which makes most every day brighter, even if you are eating rice and beans! I hope you have many more wonderful years together.
The tricky thing about planning for retirement is that while we're doing the planning, we have no idea what the economic climate will be when we finally reach those Golden Years. I think that's especially true of those of us in the over 50 crowd. How could we have imagined the cost of living we're facing today!
DeletePat, you may not have made money at it but raising a happy, well-adjusted family and volunteering your time (which I know you still do) are both worthy endeavors. I have no doubt that there are many people out there (not just your husband and kids) who are living better lives because of you!
Hi Caren,
ReplyDeletemy do over would be a personal one. As sad it this sounds, I would not be so trusting.
Mary, it is a bit sad but I think lots of us could subscribe to that one. Our hearts don't always listen to our little inner voices (or even to friends and family!). And if we're stuck with a really smooth operator, we may have no warning at all! I hope you find (or have found) the perfect someone for you who is worthy of your trust. You deserve the best!
Delete(((Mary)))
DeleteAs Caren said, many people would agree with that do-over.
My do-over would be that we didn't buy the house we did since the previous owners cleverly hid a whole lot of problems.
ReplyDeleteMaureen, I'm feeling your pain on that one! We have run into all manner of problems with our house since we moved in 19 years ago. But we knew nothing when we bought the house and it *is* in a great location. Overall, I think it's been okay. At least the neighbors tolerate our weeds and only mutter to themselves (and not to us) about the pine residue currently residing on the shingles! LOL
DeleteI think having LOTS of time to look for a house would be a wonderful thing and might have made a difference. I was nursing a newborn and trying to look at houses an hour away from where we lived then. Recipe for disaster!
One of my former neighbors is going through that experience right now. It's one hidden problem after the other. Such a shame that people will do that to unsuspecting buyers!
DeleteHi Caren! (waving!)
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, huge congrats on publishing your debut novel, KICK START! I read the whole story in one afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed it. These characters just wouldn't let me go. I so want a hero like Jack for myself! ::grin::
I wouldn't go back and change something I've done in the past because that could change where I am now and I kind of like that place. I have "started over" though and, while scary, that has led me to new and interesting experiences and people - such as the world of blogging and romance fiction...and wonderful people like all of you!
Hooray for Caren and Kick Start! I'm so glad you loved it, PJ--I did too!
ReplyDeleteDo over--hmmm...I think if I knew then what I know now, I would have left the high stress job and started writing earlier.
Hi Deb! Thanks for stopping by and HUGE THANKS for giving Caren the "nudge" she needed to push this book into the world!
DeleteHi, Caren! I read Kick Start this week and loved it. I think every woman needs a kick-ass best friend to give her a push sometimes. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd take more chances if I had a do-over. I'm not a risk-taker by nature, and when I consider my life retrospectively, my biggest regrets are the times I really wanted something, weighed the risks, and clung to the safe and familiar.
I agree, Janga. We all need that friend at times!
DeleteGood morning, Caren! It’s good to see you here on The Romance Dish. We chat regularly at The Romance Bandits so it’s good to see a fellow Bandita.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say that I am content with my life and don’t think I would change anything. Oh yes, I’ve made mistakes, as have all of us, but I’ve certainly learned from them and like to think I’m a better person because of it.
Congratulations on “Kick Start” and I hope to see you at more blogs! All the best!
I like your philosophy, Connie. I feel much the same.
DeletePJ, thanks so much for having me here today! I'm trying to see if I can leave a comment. The DDJ does not allow us to do much at all. Maybe I'll get really sick and have to take a half day! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked Kick Start. At the time I wrote it, I really kind of wanted a Jack for myself. Wish fulfillment when you write fiction! I think we all deserve a bit of *something* for our pain and suffering. For me, having raised awesome kids is a wonderful benefit. I am hoping to have grandkids one of these days. That son of mine seems determined to take his sweet time, though...
Deb Marlowe, I wish you had left your high-stress job earlier so I would have more of your books to read! PJ, I can't tell you how insanely supportive Deb has been to me for all these many years. We have a serious Mutual Admiration Society going on! Thanks another million, Deb!
ReplyDeleteJanga, thank you for your kind words! I'm glad you liked Kick Start. I agree that we all deserve a kick ass bestie. Some of us (often me) would never do anything otherwise!
ReplyDeleteLike you, I think back about opportunities I didn't know existed. Or those that I could have made happen if I had been braver or put myself out there more. But being an introvert (well, sort of on the I/E border, more E as I age) putting myself Out There was learned behavior. I still have to psyche myself up for it! So, yeah, I could have accomplished lots of things with networking, etc., but just wasn't geared that way.
I do NOT regret any of the things I forced myself to do, though. Like whitewater rafting the Class 5s, high ropes courses, ziplines through the trees, rappeling down cliffs and waterfalls. I do regret attempting to rock climb, just because I'm really, really bad at it no matter how many times I try it! :D
Connie, I'm with you on the many, many things I have learned from my mistakes. Then again, there are some I really wish I hadn't made. Especially those that caused issues for other people, really were completely my fault, and could have easily been avoided. :P Not many, but there are a few I can think of.
ReplyDeleteI think it's awesome you are grateful for your Life Lessons. I suppose that's what we're here for, right? I love writing fiction so I can make sure all my characters are content with who and where they are. If only that were available to everyone we know!
If I had a do-over it would be to better my education... I know it's not too late, but the health issues I have would be too hard on even one class.
ReplyDeleteThat is one regret I do have, Kathleen. I wish I'd studied harder in college. I like Caren's idea of auditing a class online. It could be fun!
DeleteKathleen, I think that's a great do-over! I have thought for years of going to graduate school, but can never decide what I would like to study in depth. I am interested in many things, but not enough to devote all that time and effort (and money) to it. Ha!
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find a way to take a class you enjoy. Maybe online. Maybe not even for a grade, but just to audit it! Learning is something that always interests me, no matter the subject. I think readers are usually curious minds. Hopefully your curious mind will find lots to keep it busy!
HI Caren,
ReplyDeleteI have thought about a do over but if I did I wouldn't have my kids so I think I would have gone to college and became a kindergarten teacher like I always wanted but getting a job and finally having some money sounded so good at the time. Another thing is I think I would have been more of a B instead of a sweetie... I know now I sound like one, but I am a listener and I am the one who people come to with their problems...sometimes I feel used.
Donna
Donna, I hope you can find a way to set some limits on your time. A very wise person once told me that people will only take advantage of us if we let them.
DeleteHey Caren!
ReplyDeleteI'm smiling thinking about how worried you were for your character, Linda. Seriously, we do fall in love with our characters, male and female, and so want them to get that HEA...even if we are forced to torture them a whole lot first, don't we?
A do-over, huh? Hmmm...I'm sort of at that "It's A Wonderful Life" place these days. Things I might want to change would change who I am, the lives of those I love dearly, the places I've lived, the lives I've touched, (some quite intimately and actually helped save), so...no, I don't have any real do-over...except I might've bought a different house that needed less fixing. :-)
I think we'd all go for that house that needs less fixing! ;-)
DeleteDonna, I feel your pain! It's hard to resist the lure of a job right out of high school, especially when you're sick to death of school!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about being the perpetual listener, too. I got really fed up with it in 8th grade and let a couple of my friends know that I expected them to listen to me when I needed them as I listened to them. Didn't go over so well! I think that got me a bit of a rep as "not nice", but I didn't care. :)
Still, complete strangers will confide in me. On elevators. In lines. I have no idea why it happens, but people will tell me anything and everything about themselves and their problems! Maybe I give off an air that I would never tell a secret. Which I won't. I am great at keeping confidences. That could be because my memory isn't so good, but I'll say it's because I am discreet.
I think it's never too late to set boundaries and assert yourself. Give yourself permission not to listen or at least to demand equal ear time! :D
Suzanne, I know what you mean about all those important life choices (even if they were tough at the time!). I think most of us would choose a different house, given the chance. I would choose one with a smaller yard, for sure! What seemed doable when I was 27 doesn't so much these days. I think having slightly more than an acre to mow and keep up is too much! Not to mention the sticking doors and settling around the chimney. *grumble, grumble*
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I worried a TON about poor Linda. She really seemed to have painted herself in a corner for a while there. As someone said, we all need a kick ass friend to boot us in the tail. Good thing I gave Linda one! :)
Fun post, Caren. I would have done a few things differently -- done study abroad in college, worked in Yellowstone for a summer like my sister did, and maybe moved to California to work in the movie industry, perhaps as a writer.
ReplyDeleteTrish, I think all of those things would be exceptional fun! I regret not doing study abroad, too. I would have had a much different college experience, for sure! Yellowstone would have been a marvelous adventure, too. And script writing? You would rock that! I'm selfishly glad you didn't do those things, though, because then I might not know you. :)
DeleteI can totally see you working in the movie industry, Trish!
DeleteHey Caren! Hey PJ! Oooh, FINALLY we get KICK START!! WOOT! I'm so excited about this book! Isn't Caren's voice superb, PJ? I just love her wit. :>
ReplyDeleteCaren, I love the idea of do-overs. I got my own re-starts in life, at variouls points and know how empowering they can be. Like Linda, it was usually a friend who said, either, "Go, get 'em girlfriend!" in an encouraging way, or some other incident or friend that said, "If you don't, I will!"
I'm not one to let people get ahead of me - competitive that way! - so, sometimes THAT was the kick in the pants I needed. Grins.
SO, so excited for you, and looking forward too, to Cross Talk!!
Jeanne, you have had a great big adventure of a life, I must say. You make starting over look easy! I'm glad you had kick ass friends to help you along. I could have used more kicks along the way, let me tell you! I love it that your competitive nature kicked in, too. That would so happen to me!
DeleteThank you for your nice words about my book. I hope people like the voice. It's kind of the only one I have. Ha!
Love her voice, Jeanne! It was funny. As I was reading KICK START, I'd come across lines where I'd think to myself, "Oh, I can totally hear Caren saying that!" LOL!
DeleteHi, Caren and PJ--fun post!
ReplyDeleteCaren, mega-congrats on your new release! I had the pleasure of beta reading this book, and I loved it.
I would absolutely take a do-over. There are a couple of guys I ditch way faster than I did, and I think I would consider a different career path.
Nancy, you were the best beta reader ever! I think you would approve of the changes I made based on your comments, by the way. :)
DeleteI am all for ditching guys earlier when they turned out to be jerks. There is one I should have never dated in the first place, much less for 1-1/2 years! And considering different careers is always a fun time. I think I would have been an excellent research librarian...
I think we all have those guys in our past, Nancy. I know one in particular that I should never have wasted four years on.
DeleteThanks for the fun post and congrats to Caren on the new release! Oh man... for one, I'd finish college, for two I'd just keep on walking past my former fiancee ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Erin! I think finishing college is on the list of a LOT of people. So many of us got distracted by other parts of life. It took me a couple of trys to finish, but I'm glad I did! (Even though I don't work in the field I got my degree in anymore - ha!) Good on you for walking past the former fiance. I swear, there are so many men I should never have made eye contact with! :)
DeleteAgain, we all have those guys in our past. Maybe they were necessary to make us appreciate the really good one (or ones) that finally came along...
DeleteHi Caren! Aka Posh T!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo excited that Kick Start is out and about! It's loaded and ready to fire on my Kindle!
I'm kind of with Suz on this one except as far as a house goes? I'd buy one with the laundry on the first floor!
Oh! And I would have gone looking for my baby cats years sooner :D
Thanks, JT! I hope you like Kick Start. You'll have to let me know what you think!
DeleteWhen we were looking at houses, most of the newer ones had second-story laundry rooms. Although it seems like a great convenience, my husband and I looked at each other and said, "So what happens when the washer floods?" We could just envision so many ways that would be a terrible idea that we refused to look at more houses with the second-story laundry. Same thing with vaulted ceilings. Both of us said, "Wow, that would be really expensive to heat and cool." We are very like-minded in some ways!
And I agree you should have latched onto the kitties earlier. Yours are particularly cute!
I looked at some houses with laundry on the second floor when I was making plans for my recent move. No way. No how. It's all ground floor for this girl!
DeleteMy do over is a very personal moment that I wish I had the chance to do over.
ReplyDeletelauratroxelatyahoodotcom
Laura, I hope whatever your do-over is, that you get a way to feel better about it! Hugs to you!
Delete(((Laura)))
DeleteGah, I wrote a looong comment and it got vanisheded!
ReplyDeleteHi Caren, PJ and Andrea! Lovely to see you ladies together today.
Caren, I'm so thrilled for you that you've got this book out there and your career kick-started. Here's to all the success in the world. Can't wait to read it.
So interesting you would do medicine. That makes me tired, just thinking of it! I think I would have studied literature and may still do so once the children are grown up.
Christina, so sorry about the vanished comment! That has happened to me countless times. :(
DeleteI love that you would have studied literature. I was tempted, but didn't want to teach and couldn't see any other way to make a living out of it. But what fun all my lit and writing classes were! I think it would be awesome for you to go back once the kids are grown. Why not?
Sorry about the disappearing comment, Christina. :(
DeleteIt's never too late to follow that lit dream!
If I had my life to live over again, I would have insisted on moving to California where my husband really wanted to live. I also would have gone on to college and became a lawyer or a nurse. The one thing I wouldn't have done over is not marrying my wonderful and supportive husband of 39 years.
ReplyDeleteCathy P, California would have been such fun, don't you think? I often wish we had moved somewhere out of the South, though my husband knows me well enough to know I would really miss my family!
DeleteNursing or law school would doubtless have led you to big adventures! My younger sister went back to college a second time and pursued nursing. She loves it and is now working on graduate school to become a nurse practitioner. She will be a great one, too!
Congrats on 39 years!
DeleteCongrats on your debut book, Caren!
ReplyDeleteIf I had a do-over I'd try harder to lose weight when I was younger. It would have been much easier then.
Marcy Shuler
bmndshuler(at)hotmail(dot)com
Amen, Marcy! If I could go back to my 30s and train myself to start exercising regularly, my knees might not give me such fits now. :) I think we could all benefit from forming better habits as young people. I'm encouraging my girls to use the gym at college on a regular basis. One is doing it and one is just talking about it. There's always next year! :)
DeleteI agree! I wish I had started strength training at an earlier age. Like Caren, it might have saved me a lot of knee grief.
Delete*waving madly* Hiya, Caren!! Welcome, welcome! HUGE CONGRATS on your debut!! I'm so excited for you. It's been a long time coming and I look forward to reading KICK START. :)
ReplyDeleteAh, do-overs. There are little things that I might do-over, but nothing major that I can think of. I'm one of those who feel that everything happens for a reason and I'm okay with that. :)
Caren, thanks so much for visiting with us today! All best with the release of KICK START. I really did enjoy it a lot!
ReplyDelete